June 2011
May 2011
Sally Loved Football Players
Sally had a day job somewhere in downtown Mobile, but she would always call in sick when I came to visit. She would say that she’d “hurt her back on the diving board” and she could hardly walk, for the pain. She would take off five or six days at a time when I was there, but she never worried about it. She said they could do without her for a few days and they knew she had a Bad Back—which was true, but not because she was crippled.
No, it was because of that nasty sandpaper surface on the diving board at her pool. It rubbed her spine raw when we got drunk and screwed on it at night for two or three hours at a time. We would wake up in the morning with blood all over the sheets from bouncing around on that goddamn diving board all night…..The pain made her cry, and I could barely walk the next day because of the bleeding wounds on my knees and my elbows. I had bleeding scabs on my knees for most of that summer, and when I finally went back to work on the newspaper, I had trouble walking around the office. The other editors laughed at me, but my boss Colonel Evans was a serious Military Man and he hated the sight of a man with fresh blood on his pants limping around his office.
“Goddamnit Hunter!” he would scream. “What in the name of Shit is wrong with you? Theres blood all over the floor in the bathroom! I slipped and almost fell down when I went there to piss!”
(via mwildsides)
I have both doors and windows propped open - a huge bright magnet for every bug on the island… But I am not being bitten. Every inch of my body - from the soles of my bleeding bandaged feet to the top of my sun-scorched head - is covered with 6-12 Insect Repellent, a cheap, foul-smelling oil with no redeeming social or aesthetic characteristics except that it works.
These goddamn bugs are all around - settling on the notebook, my wrists, my arms, circling the rim of my tall glass of Bacardi Anejo and ice … but no bites. It has taken about six days to solve this hellish bug problem … which is excellent news on the one level, but, as always, the solution to one problem just peels back another layer and exposes some new and more sensitive area.
” — Hunter S. Thompson, The Great Shark Hunt (1979)Hey man, I’m no doctor, but if you can still use the internet you’re good.
OR, killing spree. Do what serves you.